mdseiran

Title: Four Reasons Why Mages Should Not Come Along To Rob
Warnings: ...lame humor? ^^;;

This is at least 50%

alvarre's fault. :X The fic wanted to be written, and someone needed something to drive away boredom. xD *hearts*

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Reason 1:

The silence had lasted for a blessed four minutes. Loki counted down the remaining seconds (six, five, four...) before...

"Are we there yet?"

Right on the dot.

"Not yet," he replied, as he had - he tried hard to remember the count - the previous twenty times Nyssius had asked him that.

The two figures silently stalked around the street corner, barely avoiding the guard who passed them without noticing. Not very smart of him, Loki reflected as he dragged Nyssius along to the next shadowed spot.

The arm he was holding twitched slightly but he dismissed it as nerves.

Another corner passed, once more in the safety of the shadows. The guard was turning around at the end of the street, coming in their direction. They'd have to make a sprint for the house after he'd passed them, the thief decided.

As the guard stepped closer, he pulled Nyssius down to the ground.

"If you manhandle me one more time you will get a lightning bolt to your head!"

All was quiet for a moment. Loki, wide-eyed, stared at Nyssius, then shifted his gaze to the guard. The guard met his eyes right on, appearing shocked beyond belief. Nyssius, who had by now noticed the reason for the human's sudden silence, had turned around as well. All remained quiet and unmoving for one second. Then everyone began to run.

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Reason 2:

Time for a fresh start to the night. A new block of houses, Nyssius now quiet as a mouse. No guards - Loki had checked beforehand - and it was an obviously rich neighbourhood. Of course, being the suspicious rogue he was, Loki hadn't believed an area such as this had no security at all. That's where the library'd come in.

The district was guarded by stone creatures called garden gnomes. They were painted in different colors, coming in all shapes and sizes. They were harmless during the day, a simple decoration. During the night, they were the secret guardians. They had no sense of smell, no hearing or sight. What they did have was a sense of magic (there'd been a large number of murders the previous year, all performed by a mage) as well as the ability to sense auras. If someone with an evil aura entered the area, the gnomes would immediately awaken. Apparently the occupants of the area didn't think criminals could have any other auras. All the better for him.

He didn't even have to sneak, sauntering through the sidestreets as if he belonged there. He even paused to wave cheerfully at one of the gnomes, ignoring the strange look Nyssius gave him.

All was well as they found the main street, and he seized up the houses one by one. Nyssius was grumbling something next to him, which he ignored. He could feel a soft tingling on his skin and peered down, noticing a blue glow covering his form. A protective spell, he observed detachedly. With a sense of foreboding, he turned to face the line of houses. A defensive line of gnomes with glowing red eyes was flying towards them at high speed.

Not harmless at all.

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Reason 3:

Lockpicking was intricate work. He'd warned Nyssius not to speak to him while he was using all his energy and brainpower to figure out the exact way to insert his thin pins to subtly unlock the door, and the mage had heeded his words and remained quiet. There were no guards around but there were still the occupants...more than enough reason to stay as silent as possible. The lock, however, was turning out to be more stubborn than he'd initially thought (fifteen minutes with no results), and his legs were getting cramped from his awkward position.

And Nyssius was getting impatient. He could feel it.

After five minutes of more useless fiddling with the lock, Loki sat back for a moment to catch his breath. He could feel Nyssius bend over him, peering at the lock from a very close distance. He could see the mage nod and take a step back, and then there was a flash of blue light that turned to shades of red and orange and headed straight for the door, blowing it open. As the neighbours woke up from their slumber and Nyssius' expression turned from smugly satisfied to horrified, Loki banged his head three times against the nearest wall.

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Reason 4:

One pin inserted sideways, another from below, a subtle twist and with an audible click, the lock fell apart to his genius. Loki barely had time to smirk silently at his work before a bluish glow enveloped him and his companion, and he found himself staring at the fountain at the centre of the city, miles away from the house he'd just unlocked.

With a sense of foreboding, he carefully stood up to stare at Nyssius, who was defiantly staring back. "What? I thought that noise was a guard!"

Loki stood still for a moment, deliberating if he should bang his head a few times more and if it would help.

A second later, Nyssius had been shoved into the fountain and was left to sputter at Loki's back, as the human headed back to the inn. No more robbing today.

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